New Year, New Perspective

If only we could turn life around with the flip of a page.

There was a time, in innocent youth, when flipping the calendar to a new year promised new life. Babysitting on New Year’s Eve, talking on the phone with friends, I envisioned a new me in the coming year. Over time that hope dissipated, slowly, like smoke disappearing into clean air. To my chagrin, Self ignored the paper on the wall and followed me into January with no discernible change. Thus, like most adults, I gave up resolutions.

At what age — emotional, physical, cognitive — do we realize that we can learn from our mistakes/failures/shortcomings? When do those negatives become positive growth experiences? I recall taking Speech-Language Pathology students in to assess patients at the hospital. The student is prepared with the cognitive, speech, or swallowing exam in hand. But the patient isn’t cooperating, unable to follow the protocol. “So what do you know?” I ask the student. She (usually a she) is frustrated. “Nothing. They couldn’t do anything.” I then rattle off a list of symptoms and diagnoses that I had observed in only five minutes of what appeared to be a futile exam. We learn as much from what isn’t there as from what is.

It is tempting to look back on New Year’s and mark our failures. This year, I took a few minutes to review this past year, pat myself on the back for what I did, ignore what I didn’t do, and glean insight from all perspectives: 1) I love long, meandering road trips with Mike, catching remarkable and interesting and kitschy sights, settling for a few days in out of the way places to write and meditate. 2) We will not be buying property in Chicago proper, too old to start that style of living. In fact, our plans to move have stalled which is okay because we do not know what we will do when we leave this house. 3) I miss music and, lacking a band, will book my own gigs on the assisted living circuit. 4) Writing has brought me new friends who inspire. Deadlines help, so onto the calendar go reminders to write, submit, edit, resubmit.

No resolutions to change my lifestyle, although I no longer have my daily wine, that cycle interrupted by a nasty bout of bronchitis. Restless legs disrupt my sleep, but the medication for it is literally nauseating, so I will put up with it for now. I signed up for Noom to manage my diet. We’ll see. It is difficult when I don’t control the kitchen. Why Noom? I have trouble sticking with Weight Watchers, and Noom is cheaper than medication, which I don’t really want to do anyway. There is exercise. Well, I have friends for that. Their willingness to meet for coffee afterwards motivates me to get to the gym.

Too many friends would like to rip this year of grief and hardship from the annals of their lives, clearing away sorrow for the coming year and into the distant future. I share their sadness but not as deeply; thus, I will stand by their sides and hold their hands as they find their footing.

So, dear readers, I pray for good health for my family, my friends, and myself. That is certainly the key to a good life, isn’t it? Barring good health, may we have the strength to bear together and find joy and peace in this miracle we call life on Earth.